To Keep On Keeping On
Tom Wright, A Course In Shamanism
I have often asked of myself, the question “why?” Why do I keep on keeping on, when I have lived long enough to have seen many of my friends give up the fight, and then many who never really seemed to have gotten started in their great battle to be themselves at all before their lives ended. The battle to live life in the way that is closest to our hearts, with our own personal shenanigans having always been the greatest obstacle to our experience of that life. And please, let’s get something clear right away. This isn’t going to be about some miraculous answer to that question, more like an exploration of it. As we ply the waters of wisdom we come upon islands oft times, and that’s the grounding I am looking to stand upon here. To find a foothold somewhere solid in a sea of seemingly endless “solutions” offered by endless gurus that in reality, solve nothing. Nothing except to fulfill our need for solutions!
Because perhaps, there are none. Not even death. Why is that? Maybe, because there’s nothing in life to be “solved” though if you delve into your email box filled with all the constantly offered seminars, books, webinars, and special, get it now because it’s “ending tonight” programs that are critical and you can’t live without, you would think that there must be a whole lot of secrets being sold, served up and solicited, in order for that many of them to have been so recently discovered, and then so graciously offered to us. And the funny thing is, there are. And the next funny thing, in a whole slew of such hilarity, is that each one, whether turned in the lock of life or not, is a key, regardless of what it is. Not because of any inherent “more true or valuable than all the others” characteristic of any particular key, but rather, because that’s the nature of life: we so make it all up, and if it’s a key we are looking for to unlock our human potential, than whatever key resonates with us will work, bar none, since that unlocking has more to do with the permission we give the key to turn us on, than any inherent component or value of that particular key.
And yes, certain keys, if they resonate in alignment with the fruition of our goals, are more effective than other keys in turning the lock of our lives in the direction we do want it to go in. But again, that is only because we say so. Because we, somehow, in some mysterious way, somewhere, have decided in the truth of this resonance. As to what that mystical decision making process is for any of us, well, I don’t know. Yet that resonance with certain things is waiting there within each one of us, waiting for us to develop the will to deliberately unlock our already existing potential. Already existing potential because you cannot “add” anything to a human being, you can only call forth what is already there. Even in as simple a process as “learning math” the ability to learn in the first place is already inherent in everyone, with some, again, resonating for much mysterious reasons, with a love of math in the first place. And then some who don’t. With neither condition being the more desirable one, except, again, that we say so. And the most important “say so” in the shaping of our resonant choices is ourselves, for ourselves, never any outside force, opinion, judgment, law, or authority in any way, shape, or form, whatsoever. Simply because in that choosing, may just lay our sole human power.
In other words, as a shaman, who regularly works with people’s energy so that they will heal their bodies, their minds, their finances, and their lives, what I have discovered is that the core “secret” we all have, is our own, inherent, self-worthiness when used in conjunction with a healthy dose of freed up energy, all pointed toward the completion of a particular goal. In short, the real secret of secrets, is: our own power. Marianne Williamson was so right when she stated that it is our own power that we fear more than anything else. Our own power to be, to do, and to have, anything we desire in our lives, with the key secret to that formula being in order to get what we want, we first have to ask for it. And who do we have to ask for it first? Ourselves. We have to actually ask ourselves if we do indeed have permission to achieve what we say we desire to achieve. Because in fact, and in practice, most people don’t ask this question of themselves, and then secondarily, even those who do, don’t often answer themselves honestly when asking it. Because the only demonstration of the truth of any answer you come up with, is the demonstration of the result you say you want. Anything else? Your answer to your own willingness is then a no.
Yes, a hard truth to face, but one I had to face myself recently, when asking myself if I truly did want to be published, and in being published, become popular, rich, and famous. I mean, who’s kidding who? When after over twenty-five years of struggling to “become a successful and highly published author” writing not one, but fourteen complete and highly edited novels, and yet still not having the fortune with these tomes that I desired, what other answer to my question of willingness could it be other than no? Because for all the blocks and obstacles in the world, the one most in the way had to be me, because it certainly was the one that had been there all along, and in fact had been there now as well. Had been, because the moment I really finally answered that question honestly to most of all, myself, that’s when doors began to open up, and I truly began to live that “fought for” life of doing what was closest to my heart, damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead stuff. In other plain words, I came out of the closet as an author, popular writer, shaman and healer, and after a lifetime of denying what I could really do, simply began doing it. And this whole path and process wasn’t about what I wanted, but more like, about being who I really was. Hard to fight that because of the internal resonance of such a life, but that’s why my life had once been so hard up until now. Because I was fighting that; myself.
And that fight against self, was what has caused so many around me to give up the fight I believe. They gave up the good fight because they were worn down from fighting themselves so much, working for dreams and prizes that were not in their hearts, not understanding that no matter how intellectually appealing degrees, awards, money, or fame is, not one of these temporary conditions is one bit fulfilling to the heart until its accomplishment is driven by the heart. And that makes sense when you think about it. Because again, these rewards in life aren’t in and of themselves anything really, until we make up what they are. And when it isn’t our heart that is driving our interpretation of the signs and successes of our lives, then it’s something else. A something else that unlike our hearts, does not have our highest and greatest good at heart, but instead, holds being right of highest value, regardless of the effect doing so has on our very lives, including the lives of those who go to war to prove their point and in doing so are sacrificed for their points at the point of a gun.
And make no mistake about it, this kind of avoidable sacrifice happens, and all the time. So what’s the answer? The living of your life is the answer, in the resonant choices you make when you open yourself up to love, and in living a heart based life, to do what those around you may or may not do, to: keep on keeping on. To where? To yourself.